Xian Movies Suck

So today I came across the Facebook page and trailer for a new Xian movie – David and Goliath.

It’s horrible.

Of course, the producers are bemoaning the fact that Hollywood rejected the movie because it contains too much God.

Phooey.

Hogwash.

What a load of crap.

The trailer shows one of the worst movies EVER MADE.

Bad acting. Bad casting. Bad cinematography. Bad writing. Bad EVERYTHING! No wonder Hollywood doesn’t want to touch it.

I don’t want to touch it. I don’t want it to be remotely associated with my own faith.

Let be honest. All Xian movies suck.

Once upon a time people of faith put out quality material in the artistic world. Now we settle for cheap knock-offs….

Truly, I cringe every time I hear about a new Xian movie being produced. The faithful rally and proclaim, “Let’s show the world that we can make quality entertainment, too, but without all that nasty worldly stuff! Let’s go support this film!”

The problem is that we can’t make quality entertainment. Not really. We end up coming up with cheesy and trite art that doesn’t really MOVE anyone. Sure, the faithful will love it because they’re supposed to. There’s nothing else out there that presents our particular worldview, so it’s this bunk or nothing. Every time a new one comes out I hope and pray that it will be good. Not just a heartwarming, family-friendly film, but GOOD cinema. Hasn’t happened yet.

–  Left Behind (any of them)

Facing the Giants

Fireproof

Courageous

One Night With the Queen

The Book of Daniel

Son of God

None of these would be what I would call compelling art. I wouldn’t call them art at all.

I don’t want to hear, “This is a great Xian movie.” That’s a backhanded compliment. Why can’t we simply make good movies?

I know, I know. It’s tough to be a Xian in a business like Hollywood. Even Kevin Sorbo complains about how being a Xian prevents him from getting roles. That’s funny, ‘cause I thought it was his acting that did that.

I long for the day when Xians can lead the forefront in the arts. We’ve become so focused on the content – making sure the message supports conservative Xian values, that we’ve lost sight of the artistry.

It wasn’t always this way. People of faith used to produce quality art. Whether it be C.S. Lewis’s The Chronicles of Narnia, J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings, or J.S. Bach’s Magnificat in D, we used to care about the quality of art.

Now we get bad movies and an endless supply of Amish romance novels.

Barf.

Will someone please step up? Are there any artists out there who can say, I’m a person of faith and I’m not going to settle for putting out crap.”?

That’s the person I want to make the next Xian movie.

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2 thoughts on “Xian Movies Suck

  1. I think the biggest problem here is that so many Xians think they have to support something that has “Christian” or “Bible” in the description – like the Noah movie – and seem to think there can be nothing good or redeeming about secular movies, books, etc.

  2. Preach it, brother. I live in a small town near Sherwood Baptist Church and know people who are members there and have been a few times, as a card-carrying Southern Baptist 🙂 And, TRUE CONFESSION HERE, I have not seen any of their movies, but I can imagine that they are just as this post implies…pablum of sorts. AND, I’m on Sherwood’s mailing list for the monthly newsletter and get tired of seeing the photos of the stage-shot preacher/backlit/big production/walking around with mic in hand/big screens in background blahblahblah.
    So easy to preach about what the Lord is doing in your life—when your life includes nice cars, nice clothes, nice house, nice jobs, good health…like many of Sherwood’s members enjoy.
    Check out this film clip from this husband and wife team, both of whom are Christians facing extreme, extreme hardships in life and enjoy none of the typical Sherwood member’s worldly goods, yet are hanging on to their faith desperately during this extraordinarily difficult time in their life. http://vimeo.com/82901734
    Granted, the film is not “Christian”…but only to the extent that it shows a long marriage with eternal love. Ha.
    Not sure if I worded the above sentence syntaxically 🙂 correctly, but hope you get my drift.

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