How To Complain and Still Seem Holy

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Xians are good at complaining. We’ll complain about anything that goes against what we want or think is the “right way” to do something. The problem is that complainers get a bad reputation in the eyes of others. There must be a way, then, to complain without actually looking like you’re complaining.

Good news – there is!

If you do it right, you can complain your little heart out and still maintain the appearance of righteousness.

Here’s how:

1. Disguise the complaint in language about “care and concern.” Like this:

“Pastor, you know how much I care about our church, but I’m really concerned when I see ________.”

2. Cleverly lead others to come to the point where they agree and believe that your complaint is also their complaint, then urge them to talk to the pastor about it. Like this:

“Fred, did you ever notice ________.”
“I never thought about it before, but you’re right, Jim!”
“That just doesn’t seem right. What do you think ought to be done about it, Fred?”
“Shoot! I’ll go tell the pastor to jump on it right away, Jim!”

3. Send anonymous cards and letters to slowly emotionally cripple your pastor. Like this:

“I’m so sorry to hear that you’re leaving town. You are leaving, right?”

Follow these steps and you’ll be fast on your way to being among the most righteously ungodly complainer in the congregation.

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